O Death, where is thy victory?

In this life of trials and temptations, I think we must accept that we will have good days and bad days... we will have good weeks and bad weeks.... we will have good years and bad years.  Some may even feel as if their whole life is "bad".  I use the word "accept" a lot lately.  It is comforting to me when I'm feeling depressed, tired, overwhelmed, sad, panicky, guilty, lazy, ect... I don't mean for it to become an excuse, but it helps me to accept that I will have these feelings from time to time and that doesn't make me a bad person or a failure.  For me, it is important that I accept what happened last year, which was so far the worst year of my life.  As I accept it, I can move forward.  It helps me let it go. When a thought comes to my mind... a memory, or a regret, or a fear... I find it helps me to think, "Yes, that happened and I accept it" or "Yes, I am feeling this feeling and I accept it".  It might seem silly to some, but when you have overwhelming feelings and memories from a traumatic event, you cannot allow your mind to dwell on them.  Those feelings and memories can drag you down and hold you down, when in fact, they should not control your life or your mind!  I have been trying more to be full of gratefulness.  I need more work, of course! Gratitude is the opposite of so many negative feelings.  But sometimes it's not easy to feel grateful.  Here is a list of some things I am grateful for:

My husband
My children
My home

So I will admit, it was difficult for me to type those things.  Why is gratitude difficult for me sometimes?  I think it is because, I realize that I could lose those things that I love the most.  I did lose my home last year and I almost lost my daughter.  I think maybe this also boils down to acceptance.  I need to accept that eventually, I will lose everything on this earth.  BUT, my greatest treasures I will never lose.  My faith in God and His Word gives me hope that even after death, I will see my loved ones again.  So maybe my gratitude is a bit misplaced.  Maybe I need to start being grateful instead for EVERLASTING LIFE.  Now that is something I can be truly grateful for.

Col 3:1-4
If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God.
² Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.
³ For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God.
⁴ When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory.

Isaiah 25:8-9

⁸ He will swallow up death in victory; and the Lord God will wipe away tears from off all faces; and the rebuke of his people shall he take away from off all the earth: for the Lord hath spoken it.
⁹ And it shall be said in that day, Lo, this is our God; we have waited for him, and he will save us: this is the Lord; we have waited for him, we will be glad and rejoice in his salvation.


John 6:47
⁴⁷ Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me hath everlasting life.

I Cor 15:52-57
Behold, I shew you a mystery; We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed,
⁵² In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed.
⁵³ For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality.
⁵⁴ So when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption, and this mortal shall have put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written, Death is swallowed up in victory.
⁵⁵ O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?
⁵⁶ The sting of death is sin; and the strength of sin is the law.
⁵⁷ But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

My Purpose Today

There is a fine line between feeling overwhelming gratefulness for life and extreme sadness and confusion over a near death, life changing experience. I want to lean more toward the grateful side, yet without ignoring my feelings of grief. I have dealt extensively with my feelings through therapy in the past year, but I still deal with feelings of loss occasionally. Loss of normalcy, loss of feeling safe, loss of a part of my faith I'm afraid. I still cling to my faith, but it has drastically changed. That is life and I accept it. I accept these changes. I accept these losses. I move forward. I will lead a peaceful life seeking to ease the pain and suffering of others. That is my true therapy. That is my purpose today.

Hello, welcome to my blog. I have been feeling a need, or maybe a calling to share with you - whoever out there may be hurting, or fearful, or anxious. I have been there too. I still am there sometimes. But I do find moments of hope and I have days of love and beauty. I am also still nervous about sharing, fearing judgement by a few, I guess. But I have such a deep longing to share my heart, that I can't hold back anymore.


I was wondering what to call this blog when I found this in my writings... Tell me if you see the similarities in these two excerpts:
2012
The most important thing I have learned this year is that God is with me.  Always.  In my darkest hour.  He is there.  He doesn't always "make everything better" but He "never leaves me nor forsakes me".
2015
I feel like God is answering my prayers. He is making me wiser, stronger, more peaceful in stressful situations, and He is showing me how to love people, people who are in pain, people who are broken, people in the hospital. Now I understand. Now I am no longer an onlooker from the sidelines. He is also teaching me to love Him no matter what my circumstances are. To love Him in good times and bad times. To love Him because He was with me in my darkest hour.


A little introduction, in case you don't already know me.... I'm a 31 year old wife and mother. I've been married almost 10 years and I have 3 children, 7,5 & 2 years old. I was saved when I was 6 or 7 and God has always been the most important part of my life.
I am not a perfect person. My personality is full of flaws. My life is full of flaws. The last thing I want this blog to be is another picture of perfect life.... Scrubbed clean.... For everyone to envy and ooh and aah over. I just want to share the truth, in hopes that someone else will realize that they are not alone. Life is not easy. There are difficult times. Some difficulties last a few moments, some last a lifetime. I hope that you are blessed and encouraged by my writings.